SPOILER ALERT [if you have not seen the finale episode of MTV's reality show Legally Blonde: The Search for Elle Woods, you will NOT want to read any further because I am going to reveal everything.]

OMG!  Autumn was robbed!  Well, maybe not robbed, but she was pick pocketed.  Ok, ok, maybe I am just really upset that the person I wanted to win LBTSFEW didn't win.  Why does this happen?  Why is it that the person I spend an entire season of a reality show loving, caring about, devoting my thoughts and energy to, routing for...why oh why do they ALWAYS lose.  Actually I should have known it from the start.  Bailey was destined to win; with her long golden Elle-like locks and her cute as a button nose Bailey really had the whole thing locked up.  But I allowed myself to be manipulated and tricked.  The editors wanted me to fall in love with Autumn - they portrayed her as the hard-working-never-got-my-shot-B'way trouper-with-a-heart-of-gold and I bought it.  Call me a sucker.  Sucker!

Enough venting Bixby (sometimes I have to talk myself off the ledge like that).  Let's talk about the show last night.  I thought it really delivered.  From the tearful exit of Rhiannon at the top of the show (no surprise) to the tearful crowning of the next Elle Woods the show kept things exciting.  Transporting the finale to the stage of the Palace theater (where Legally Blonde is performed 8 times a week) was an excellent move.  When the girls walked on to that stage for the very first time, I have to admit, I got a bit teary (it wouldn't be the last time).  The girls had a grueling task for their final audition; 3 big numbers from the show performed live with the cast and all the props, scenery and costumes.  Our two finalists Autumn and Bailey were totally up for the challenge.  As each took the stage for the judges (Bernie, Paul and Heather now joined by Director Jerry Mitchell - looking tanned and svelte but oddly large eyed in his glasses...his prescription must be harsh) and they made their first entrance all decked out as Elle; I got goose bumps!  It was exciting to watch two young girls have their dreams come true (and taped live for America's viewing pleasure).  

Autumn knocked it out of the park with great vocals and nuanced acting.  Bailey looked like Elle from head to toe and danced superbly.  I have to say, in all honesty, they both did a great job...they both seemed to sparkle and had great charisma and stage presence - oh - and confidence.  Those two ladies have confidence to spare! 

After the auditions the judges offered a final critique.  Mitchell really called it when he said that he wished he could just mush the two ladies together and he would have the perfect Elle Woods.  But, alas, one person had to win and one person had to lose.  As Haley "I know what it is like to be on B'way" Duff opened the envelope I had to close my eyes.  I had heard the rumors that Bailey would win.  I had read the chat boards that informed me that Amazon.com had released the LB single recorded by the winner by accident for 15 minutes and that it was Bailey singing.  I had everyone and their brother in the B'way community tell me that they had seen Bailey coming and going from rehearsal and watched them as they shook their head when I argued that Autumn would win.  I hoped beyond hope that all of it had been a red herring, a highly intricate PR campaign to throw everyone off track.  I held my breathe hoping they would say "Autumn".  But, they didn't.  Haley paused and announced Bailey the winner and the next Elle Woods on B'way.  She cried.  The balloons and confetti fell from the sky.  The judges cheered.  Her parents sobbed.  And Autumn was whisked off stage without even a final sound bite (I was insulted).  I was devastated.  DEVASTATED.  Pause here while we note for a moment that I have a real problem.  My obsession with this show has reached unhealthy proportions, but please note that I am seeking help in the form of support groups and highly trained medical professionals.  There is no need to worry.

Setting aside my disappointment (which is difficult for a bitter betty like myself) I do think that Bailey is going to be great in the role.  She is extremely talented and she really personifies Elle Woods (to a "T").  I wish her all the luck in the world.  In reality tv there are winners and there are losers, but on "The Broadway" even the losers have their dreams come true.  It has been announced that Autumn will take on the understudy role/and an ensemble part in the B'way company of Legally Blonde and has a great future ahead of her.  Lauren, the little 19 year old spitfire with the amazing belt voice, has booked a gig as the Elle understudy on the LB national tour; Rhiannon will take a role as well.  You see -  in the world of Legally Blonde there are always happy endings.  In a nod to this - the show ended by reuniting all the contestants on stage for the finale number ( a really nice touch that, once again, got me a bit misty-eyed).

The biggest problem for me is that the show is over.  What the heck am I going to obsess about on Monday nights now!?!?  This is a real problem.  There is a huge void that needs to be filled.  I am not going to just sit around; I have placed a call to MTV to offer up some ideas for a few new B'way themed reality television shows.  "August: Osage County: The Search for the Next Pill Popping Violet Weston."  "Xanadu: The Search for the Next Roller Skating Star" (this could be fun if it incorporated tons of roller skating - in fact they would have to wear roller skates 100% of the time.  "This week watch contestants shower with roller skates on!").  "Lion King: The Search for the Next Singing Lion" (perhaps they could find an actual lion that sings - sort of an animal reality show).  "Gypsy: The Search for the next High Maintenance Diva" (kidding - I love you Patti LuPone - love you!).  "Grease: The Search for..." oops they did that one.  Ok, wait, here is an idea - how about we hold off on the reality tv shows to replace leads in B'way shows.  That is a nice idea.  Let's do that for a little while.  I'll Miss LBTSFEW, but I think going back to the old fashioned way of casting talented professionals by auditioning them...that suits me just fine!

NOTE: Bailey Hanks (yes she has a last name and it is Hanks ???) begins performances on July 23rd at 8:00pm. Ghostlight records will also release Bailey's single version of Legally Blonde's first-act closer, "So Much Better," on iTunes beginning July 22. A single version will also be available on Ghostlight's official website.

NOTE: In all this excitement I neglected to say a proper farewell to Laura Bell Bundy who played her last show on Sunday night.   She had a fantastic run as Elle Woods and has left her mark on the show.  The one thing you can't help but think as you watch any of these ladies attempt to take on the role of Elle...is that Laura Bell Bundy OWNED that role.  She created it and she wowed audiences as the finger snapping, sassy blonde!  She will be missed. 

~ See You On The Aisle