OMG.  Squeal.  Scream.  OMG!  Giggle.  Panic.  Cry.  Scream. Ahhhhh!  Sing Sing Sing.  This is a brief recap, in case you missed last nights episode of Legally Blonde: The Search for Elle Woods - the new MTV reality television show to replace the star  of the B'way show Legally Blonde, Laura Bell Bundy.  That is pretty much how an episode goes.  Don't get me wrong - I LOVE IT!  Last night I was glued to my television set.  This is "must see tv" for me.  I mean, who could ask fro anything more; a bevy of young girls, dressed from head-to-toe in pink, squeaking and squealing as they backstab their way to the starring role in a B'way show?  Heaven viewed through pink colored glasses.  I'm like a tween girl trapped in an adult male body - help!

Meet the Elles

The producers and judges have packed the show with a horde of young ladies of varying talent and personality (last week's premiere episode whittled the cast down to 10).  There is Emma, the daughter of B'way legend Jerry Zaks, who is a NYC pro (I will call her "Veteran Elle").  We also have "Crazy Elle" or "Over-the-top Elle", Cassie S. who actually seems like she is possessed and would actually kill for the role.  Always standing in fifth position with her hair bow just perfect she is a bit more Reese Witherspoon in Election, than Reese in Legally Blonde (but, heck, she is GREAT television).  "Rocker Elle" is Celeina, with red hair and a ruff exterior; she is the unconventional choice for the role.  There is always a God fearing contestant and this show is no exception, Lindsey is "Religious Elle" and hopefully there will be some conflict there.  I also have to mention Autumn "Red Head Elle", one of my favorites, she is a cute carrot top with a great personality and a ton of talent.  If I had to start picking - I would say Emma and Autumn are going to go pretty far.  

The Elles Swear?

Monday night's episode (the second) found the remaining girls competing in the area of "acting" and desperate to avoid being the very first "Elle" cut (a fate worse than death, according to some of the contestants).  After visiting their new apartment (decorated in all black - just kidding - all PINK - I had you there I bet) the girls visited a rehearsal studio for an acting workshop.  "Let's start with tongue twisters" came the call from acting coach Marci Bruni (assistant director for Legally Blonde), followed by a montage of the ladies trying to say "I am a mother pheasant plucker, I pluck mother pheasants."  Of course, it was a dirty trick because the girls couldn't say it without, OMG, swearing.  Insert laughter and embarrassment. 

Elles get Challenged

On to the challenge.  Each girl was given a scene that they had to perform with a hunky actor (sans rehearsal).  The script was, of course, on pink paper.  Actually, most of them did pretty well.  The pink ladies are actually fairly professional and know what they are doing ( there are, of course a few exceptions, can you say Cassie S.)  Bailey (I will call her "Southern Elle") took the top prize for her convincing acting and her ability to work through her very thick southern accent (she was warned that Elle Woods is not from Alabama; I say "why not?").  She and a friend would got an advantage for the next challenge.

Then the ladies received their pink scented folders (ok, there is going to be a serious emergency shortage of pink paper, fabric, bows, polish, lipstick, etc. if this show doesn't calm down...we get it...pink is the color...chill).  Anyhow, the wannabe Elles received a scene that they would perform with Nikki Snelson (Brooke in LB).  "Southern Elle" got to work with Nikki ahead of time as the reward for winning the challenge.

The girls swooned over Snelson - as if she were Posh Spice.  I have to pause here to comment on a few things.  I love that in the alternate pink universe of this show Laura Bell Bundy has joined the ranks of Patti LuPone as a B'way legend (we love Laura Bell, but come on) and Haylie Duff (the MC for the show, or as she likes to call herself "the mentor") is a "seasoned NYC working actress" on B'way.  My favorite part last night was when Duff announced to the cast, "I have been through some tough auditions before."  WTF?  What is she talking about?  Did she wait in line at Equity at 5am to get a slot for the Hairspray auditions - I don't think so!  I see limos and Perrier for her audition. Enough of this - back to the show.

Bye Bye Elles

Ok, on to the elimination challenge.  The contestants each had a shot to perform their scenes in front of the judges (casting director Bernie Telsey, Heatcher Hach (writer of the show and Elle Woods look-a-like) and some actor guy who is in the show (not fair, Bixby, his name is Paul Cannan).  These girls actually can learn lines and deliver them (unlike any single contestant on any season of America's Next Top Model).  So the producers, those little devils, hatched a plan.  They asked Snelson to "drop a line" during the scene to see how the girls could handle the crisis and the pressure of "live theater".  They didn't do so well.  Girl after girl froze and stared blankly at Nikki Snelson.  Particularly painful was Cassie S. "Crazy Elle" - who looked like she was going to implode.  Celeina "Rocker Elle" tried to pull off her awkward moment as an "acting choice" -  I am not sure she succeeded.  This was a good twist, but seemed so mean.  Would Elle Woods EVER do something that unkind?  I don't think so.

After the auditions, the judges released the "cast list" and 3 girls found themselves in the bottom 3.  Lindsey, Cassie S ("Crazy Elle") and Cassie O.  You knew they were going to keep Cassie O., you don't let go of such good television in the first week, and Lindsey looks just like an Elle Woods, really.  So that left the bland and undistinguishable Cassie O.   Sure enough, Cassie O. was cut and was branded with Telsey's exit line, "We just don't see you as Elle Woods."  The tears followed and the light went out on Cassie O's headshot - bringing an end to the second episode of Legally Blonde: The Search for Elle Woods.  What will I do until next week? 

How Can You Leave the Elles?

I leave you with one mystery to ponder.  What happened to Jerry Mitchell?  The director of Legally Blonde and recent mentor on Step It Up & Dance, appeared in the premiere episode and then said, "I trust you all to find the next Elle Woods" and then disappeared.  Um, hello?  Are you not coming back Jerry?  Do you think he just doesn't want to be associated with idea that his leading lady is going to be replaced by a reality star?  Where oh where are you Jerry?

You can check out Legally Blonde: The Search for Elle Woods on Monday nights at 10PM EST on MTV.  Next week the rivals have to work together and, surprise surprise, "Crazy Elle" is going to be causing some trouble.  Until then, I will...

~ See You On The Aisle