Dear Readers:  As you know, I work tirelessly to bring you the most important theatrical events happening on The Broadway.  If it is serious, high-brow, classical and/or vital - I will report it to you.  Today's post is one of the foremost grave and momentous events I have ever brought to your attention.  It is The Second Annual Broadway Beauty Pageant.  A competition where young men selected from the ranks of several Broadway shows will battle it out for the crown.  This might just well end the global hunger crisis and bring peace to the world!  

Oh, heck - forget peace and hunger - give me BEEFCAKE!  Folks, this show sounds like fun!  Young men from several productions on the rialto will compete in talent, interview and - yup, you guessed it - the all important swimsuit competition!  Who could ask for anything more?

You should definitely check this out.  This one night only event happens on Monday April 28th at 8:00pm at New World Stages.  Seriously, all this fun and frivolity is for a good cause - The Ali Forney Center.  Proceeds from the beauty pageant will benefit this worthy agency.

In addition to the hunky guys, there should be plenty of laughs at The Broadway Beauty Pageant.  A celebrity panel of Seth Rudetsky (Rhapsody in Seth, Chatterbox, The Ritz), Hunter Bell ([title of show]) and Susan Blackwell ([title of show]) will be judging the contestants.  The event will be hosted by Rent's Anthony Rapp and theater gossip columnist from the NY Post, Michael Riedel, will place the crown on the lucky winner's gorgeous head.  It will be a fierce competition.  Contestants include: Tommy Berklund (Mr. A Chorus Line), J. Austin Eyer (Mr. Curtains), Joe Komara (Mr. Grease), Daniel Robinson (Mr. Hairspray) and Marty Thomas (Mr. Xanadu).  These guys are all talented and attractive - it should be quite a pageant!

I had a chance to get some info from one of the contestants, the talented and handsome J. Austin Eyer who is currently appearing in the Broadway show Curtains.  I asked him a few questions about his involvement in the pageant and how he thinks he might win.  Mr. Eyer is a VERY funny guy.  Check it out...

BIXBY: It must be very exciting to be part of The Broadway Beauty Pageant.  How would you describe your feelings in ONE word?  (These are the types of questions that beauty contestants get).   

J. AUSTIN: Mellifluous

BIXBY: Have you dreamed of this moment your entire life?  What would it mean for you to win The Broadway Beauty Pageant?

J. AUSTIN: Of course I have dreamt of this my whole life, just like every other normal American boy who ever watched the Miss America pageant and thought "that should be me!" I've been waiting for a venue to showcase some of the things you'll see me do on Monday.  This pageant has already given me such an opportunity, so winning would just be the cherry on the proverbial sundae.  

BIXBY: Beauty Pageants are typically seen as sexist and demeaning.  What do you say to those critics who think that this is nothing but a "flesh parade" or  a bunch of "pretty faces on display for judging"?  (fyi- I made those quotes up and I do not support those criticisms - I am all for flesh!) 

J. AUSTIN: You think I have a pretty face?  Well, that's very sweet of you.  I seriously think the fact that a bunch of grown men can get up onstage and compete in a beauty pageant is a step in the right direction for democracy.  I grew up in the south and had to watch all my girl friends compete in pageants, now it's my chance to make up for all those lost years.

BIXBY: Talent is a very important category that you will be competing in - can you give us a hint or a sneak preview as to what your talent will be?  Flaming baton twirling?  "Climb Every Mountain" on a kazoo? 

J. AUSTIN: Well I don't want to give it all away...but let's just say my talent includes one or more of the following: balloon animals, pointe shoes, ribbon dancing and a saw. 

BIXBY: For the swimsuit competition, will you wear a one piece or a two piece?  Kidding.  Have you heard of beauty queens using Preparation H to stop their swimsuits from riding up during the contest?  Will you utilize this pageant technique? 

J. AUSTIN: For the record my swimsuit is a one piece and I will be using an old pageant technique.  My swimsuit is sooo tight I have to use baby oil to get into it. 

BIXBY: Are you scared about the interview portion of the competition?  Are you worried that a video of you will end up on YouTube, like that poor Miss South Carolina ("and such as, the Iraq")?

J. AUSTIN: Actually the interview portion is the one thing that truly scares me about Monday.  The question they ask you could totally catch you off guard, and I have a habit of going blank when I'm put on the spot.  But if I run into a hard question I plan answer with "I hope to bring peace, love and joy to the world, become a model and work with the retarded." How does that sound?

BIXBY: What things have you been doing to prepare for the Broadway Beauty Pageant?

J. AUSTIN: Let's just say I've spent a lot of time learning some new skills and brushing up on skills I haven't used in a looong time.

BIXBY: In more traditional pageants - contestants have a platform (poverty, education) will you be supporting a "platform"?

J. AUSTIN: In selecting my platform I wanted to find something practical that would benefit the Broadway community.  I'm tired of having to fight my way through Times Square behind lolly-gagging tourists while I'm late for half hour, or running to yoga class, or grabbing a bite at Kodama.  Therefore my platform will be funding to build an "Equity Express Lane".  Tourists deserve the right to perambulate and I deserve the right to zip by them.  Please support me in this project, it's a worthy cause.

BIXBY: Just between you and me (and anyone who read this) what do you have planned to "take down" the competition? 

 J. AUSTIN: Well let's just say I've picked WHO I'm taking down, but I haven't decided just HOW I'm going to do it...yet.  Tell MT to watch his back.

BIXBY: Most beauty pageants are riddled with corruption - do you plan on bribing judges or sleeping your way to the crown?

J. AUSTIN: Well, I'm an excellent baker.  So there may be some mid show snacks coming the judges' way.  That reminds me, Seth should let me know if he has any allergies to nuts.

BIXBY: I have heard the Hunter Bell and Susan Blackwell from [title of show] are suckers for contestants that claim that [title of show] is their favorite show EVER during interviews.  Will you be doing that sort of "sucking up"?

J. AUSTIN: Of course, but only if they'll include my name into some of the brilliant lyrics they've written in their show.  Like rhyming Eyer with "on fire", or "he's good enough to hire" but hopefully not with "did you see his spare tire?".

BIXBY: I noticed that you can vote for contestants BEFORE the event at the website (click HERE to see).  How many times have you already voted for yourself (be honest)?

J. AUSTIN: You know, I actually haven't voted for myself, but my Mom on the other hand...she just won't stop.

BIXBY: Are there any skeletons in your closet that may come out (a la Vanessa Williams) that may hurt your chances of winning? 

J. AUSTIN: Oh don't worry, while I don't have an exactly pristine past, everything came out of my closet years ago.

BIXBY: Ok, let's get a little bit more serious...How did you get involved with the Broadway Beauty Pageant? 

J. AUSTIN: I heard about it last year when Ward Billeisen competed as Mr. Curtains.  It sounded like a lot of fun for a worthy cause. 

BIXBY: The show will benefit the The Ali Forney Center - it is an amazing organization.  Can you tell us a bit more about what they do?

J. AUSTIN: Sure, The Ali Forney Center was created in June of 2002.  It is an organization that offers street outreach, case management, primary medical care, HIV testing, mental health assessment and treatment to gay and lesbian youth aged 16-24.  They also offer food and showers, an employment assistance program, referral to their housing programs as well as a family outreach program to assist families struggling with their LGBT youth in an effort to prevent young people from becoming homeless.  Please visit Ali Froney's website (HERE) for more information.

Thanks to J. Austin for being so funny and winning (we are routing for YOU – but don’t tell the others – ok).  For more information on The 2nd Annual Broadway Beauty Pageant click HERE.  

~ See You On The Aisle